Randawesomness
by Colossal Titan's Hoe
Summary: What happens when I'm bored and have a computer... Read The Tale of Three Birdies by me first. IggyxOC FangxMax OOC majorly. Total lls moments. R&R T to be safe. Iggy gets very annoyed. And Fang killed me for it.
1. Mamma Mia, Cookies, and Lady Gaga

**Inspired by Fang, Pie, and Charlie the Unicorn by MaxJacksonCullengirl. Lls, read it, for real.  
I don't own any famous figures mentioned. The Flock lives with Dr. M, but, of course, Jab and Trent are there (refer to The Tale of Three Birdies by ME!) This is what happens when I'm bored and have a computer... ENJOY, LITTLE MONSTERS!**

**Mamma Mia, Cookies, and Lady Gaga**

I was sitting in my room at Dr. M's house with Iggy and Trent when Fang burst in and yelled "Mama Mia! OMG!"

"Ohmigawd, really?" I yelled excitedly, shooting up and jumping around. He was grinning like a maniac and jumping with me, clutching my hands.

"Yeah! YEAH! OMG, I TOTALLY SAW TOTAL AND GAZZY AND ANGEL WATCHING IT IN THE _SKY_! It was friggin' AWESOME!"

"What's going on?" Iggy asked as Trent hopped down from the bed and started jumping around with me.

"MAMMA MIA, IGGY! Isn't it so amazing?" I grinned and kissed him smack on the lips. He stood there, a goofy half grin on his face. "You didn't ANSWER ME!" I narrowed my eyes.

"Yeah... it's okay, I guess."

"OMG, I SMELL COOKAYS!" Me, Fang, and Trent ran into the kitchen where Dr. M was taking sugar cookies out of the oven. "!" I yelled, reaching for one, only to have my hand be burnt. I screamed and held my hand to my chest, jumping in circles.

"YOU MUST ASK THE SACRED CONCH SHELL FIRST!" Dr. M exclaimed, holding up a purple conch shell. Me and Fang stared at it in wonder as Iggy came back out.

"What is going on?" he asked, shaking his head. I looked at him, dazed and mystified.

"IGGY! IGGY! IGGY! IGGY!"

"WHAT?" he yelled at me, mad and annoyed. I pouted and looked down.

"I was just going to say I love you," I mumbled, tears starting in my eyes. He smiled and cupped my face in his hands, kissing me.

"I love you too. Now what're you guys yelling about?"

"I HAVE TO ASK THE MAGIC CONCH SHELL!"

"Conch shell... conch shell..." Dr. M, Fang, and Trent echoed mystically.

"I... have no idea what that is..." He looked at me expectantly.

"IGGY! I'm ashamed! How could you! The conch shell is everything! It holds life's secrets and lies and love and death and-"

"Okay, I get it. It's everything."

"I have to ask it for a cookie." My eyes were wide and dreamy. I turned back to the shell and gently pulled the string, holding it as I asked, "May I have a cookie?" and then letting go.

"Yes." I cheered and took one. Trent and Fang asked and it said yes. When Dr. M asked, it said no.

"Doesn't it seem fair that she gets one, since she made them?"

"I OBEY THE MAGIC CONCH SHELL!" Dr. M exclaimed. Iggy looked weirded out.

"Come on..." He started towing me away. I screamed and started jumping up and down, throwing a hissy fit. He sighed and held me down by my shoulders, kissing me. When he pulled back, I had a lazy grin on my face.

"Iggy, do you want a cookie?"

"Please?"

"Ask the conch shell and find out." He started to reject, but I put on a cute little puppy dog pout, my brown eyes going big and watery and my bottom lip pouted and quivering. He sighed.

"Okay." I cheered and hugged him, kissing his cheek and edging him toward the shell.

"Go on... ask it." I was grinning from ear to ear as he pulled the string, asked for a cookie, and then let go.

"Yes."

"Yay! Iggy gets a cookie!" He rolled his eyes and picked up a cookie.

"That was very pointless."

"DON'T BE A DRAG JUST BE A QUEEN!" we yelled at him. "IT DOESN'T MATTER YOU LOVE HIM OR CAPITAL H-I-M! JUST PUT YOUR PAWS UP CAUSE YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY, BABY!" We started dancing and singing "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. Iggy sighed, rubbing his temples, and started back toward our room. We continued our awesome dance tribute to Lady Gaga, the most gaga person to ever live!

**Iggy POV**

I sighed and sat on the bed tiredly. Why? Why me? A few minutes later, Jab ran into the room and pounced on me, he lips on mine and her legs on either side of me. I melted into the kiss, liking where this was going. And then, just like that, she was gone, running out. I sighed. I should have expected that...

And, so, I again found myself thinking:

Why? Why Me?

**Continue? Reviews are loved, thank you. Bye ;)**


	2. I'm Cannibal, Bitches!

"Iggay!" Jab yelled, running up to me where I was getting some Goldfish crackers from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"We have a test coming up, so, do you want to go to the library with me, Fang, and Max. Nudge, Ella, Angel, and Gazzy - well mostly Nudge, Ella and Angel - are watching Trent. Oh, please?" She pouted.

"Okay, hon," I smiled, kissing her head. She smiled and clapped her hands.

"Great! Well, Dr. M is out in the van with Max and Fnick." I laughed at Fang's nickname, via moi, and we went out to Dr. M's van, hopping in. We lived down the street from the library. The E/MS/HS academy we go to was having the SATs soon and we had to study, like, everything in the world. Or at least that's what it felt like.

"Hey, guys, we'll be back. We're going to the bathroom," Jab said when we got there and picked a table to study at, linking her arm through Max's.

"Together?" I lifted an eyebrow.

"You know nothing about girls, huh? Even after being with me for half a year and living with Nudge and Angel for most of your life."

"Shush and go to the bathroom," I rolled my eyes. The girls went off and we went off to get some history books. I found some on African American history and some on the American Revolution, bringing them back over to the table. No one else was there yet. I sighed and opened the book on African American history. The first chapter was about African American inventors. The guy to patent folding chairs was an African American man named Nathaniel Alexander. The guy to create remote controls for missiles was a man named Otis Boykin. I like this guy. The more I read, the more I was interesting in finding more about African American history. I bet Nudge would like to hear about some of this stuff seeing as she's African-American. I then realized Fang, Jab, and Max still hadn't returned.

"Hmm, where are they?" I mused, standing up. Just then, they came running in, dressed like Ke$ha. Jab had a green leotard with weird wire veil stuff and square-shaped metalic confetti all over it. There was green and pink neon paint sreaks going up her right leg and yellow and orange on the left. Then orange and pink streaks came through her cleavage, up her neck, to her cheeks and going over her eyes, stopping at her hairline. There were two blue lines on one cheek, like whiskers and there was yellow paint around her eyes, dipping at her nose. There was a yellow dollar sign on her upper arm and her hair was wild with pink highlights in it. Max had on a black leotard like the one from the We R Who We R video, a bullet sash and chains around her. Her stockings were hardly there, having holes in it bigger than George Lopez's head. She had robotic finger things on a couple fingers. Her makeup was dark grey lipstick and super smokey eyeshadow that ended an inch and a half away from her eye. Fang was the most disturbing. He had a skintight black and white zebra striped body suit on and, though it covered most of his body, it was super tight and it might has well been painted on him (god forbid). He had silver and gold rhinestones around his right eye, like sun beams. I stared at them, confused and weirded out.

"IIIIIII AAAAAAAMM CANNIBALLLLLLL!" they yelled at once, and everyone in the library stood up and ripped their clothes, revealing Ke$ha outfits of their own under their clothes. Music started out of nowhere. Fang, Max, and Jab climbed on tables and so did some other people while the other people stood around the tables, like they were going to start a High School Musical moment. I stood motionless, staring at the people around me.

"I have a heart I swear I do," Jab started, hands over her heart. "But just not baby when it comes to you. I get so hungry when you say you love me. Boy, it you know what's good for you." She licked her lips at me.

"I think you're hot. I think you're cool. You're the kind of boy I'd stalk at school. But now that I'm famous, you're up my anus." This was Max

"SO I'M GONNA EAT YOU, FOOL!" everyone screamed at once.

"I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch, then when I'm thirsty, I drink their blood," Jab and Max sang together.

"Carnivor animal," Max said.

"I am a cannibal," Jab added.

"I eat boys up, you better run," Fang, surprisingly, finished.

"IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM!" everyone sung at once. "IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up!"

"Whenever you tell me I'm pretty, that's when the hunger really hits me," Fang sang.

"Your little heart goes pitter-patter," Max continued.

"I want your liver on a platter!" Jab finished and then one of the people at fer feet handed her a platter with a human liver on it!

"Use your finger to stir my tea," Max said, and someone gave her a saucer with a tea cup and a finger on it. She nodded in thanks and stirred the tea with the finger and took a sip.

"Then for desert I'll suck your teeth," Fang continued, receiving a bowl of teeth as he sucked blood and marrow out of them.

"Be too sweet and you'll be a goner," Jab smiled, one hand on her hip and licked her fingers clean of the blood from the liver. She'd actually ate it!

"Yup I'll pull a Jefferey Dahmer!" And then the librarian jumped over the desk and chased a few people around with a fork and knife.

"I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch, then when I'm thirsty I drink your blood." Jab snapped her jaws at me.

"Carnivor animal," Jab smirked, making a kitty claw swipe at the air between us.

"I am a cannibal," Max said, wiggling her fingers at some people.

"I eat boys up, you better run." The library went silent, Jab, Fang, and Max baring their teeth and snarling at the people around their tables. And then the music came back on and all singing returned.

"IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up!"

"Owowowowowooo. Owowowowowowwoowo. Owowowowowoooo. Owowowowwooo. Owowowowooooo. Owowowooowoo. Owowowowowowooo. Owowowowoowoooo."

"IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up!" Jab chucked as everyone started circling her, Fang, and Max doing a festive dance.

"I love you," she said sweetly to me, chuckling again. Then she sighed and smiled sadly at me. "I warned you." And then she pounced at me, knocking me on my back. Obviouly her puppy side took over because she hovered over me on all fours, licking my cheek and panting like a happy dog, her tongue hanging out of the mouth. Fang hound whistled.

"Come on, Jab!" he called. She looked back, looked back at me, licked my face again, and then ran away, running next to Max and Fang until they disappeared behind a bookcase. I stayed on the ground, staring at the ceiling for a second. When I looked back up, everything was back to normal, except for the slobber on my face.

"Young man, can you please find a chair?" the librarian asked nicely. It was the same one who'd chased people around like Jefferey Dahmer.

"Yes, ma'am," I sighed, going back to the table and wiping my face. _What just happened?_

"Hey, babe. Sorry we took so long," Jab smiled, walking up and sitting next to me with a pile of books. "I got my hair stuck in the the hand drier. 5 minutes to get it out and 10 more to get my hair in order. Then fifteenmore toget all of these books." She patted the cover of the top book.

"LIAR!" I exclaimed. The librarian shushed me. Jab looked at my with an eyebrow raised.

"Hun, did you hit your head on one of them books?" she asked, checking my forehead.

"No! You all... and Ke$ha... and Jefferey Dahmer... and finger tea. Whaaa-?'

"Okay, babe, sure." She leaned over to Fang and whispered, "Change the computer password."

"There's nothing wrong with me! I know you did it!" I tried to keep my voice down.

"No, of course not." It was obvious she thought something was wrong with me. _Was_ something wrong with me. Maybe I had imagined it all. Oh God, if I was imagining a Ke$ha chours in the library, what if I started imagining a swarm of bees singing U Can't Touch This during the SATs?

"Yeah... maybe I did imagine it. It was so real. Except you were eating someone's liver and the librarian was chasing boys around with forks and knives..." I stopped, seeing the weird looks they were giving me.

"Iggy... I'm pretty sure we would remember that. It seems pretty random, spontanious, and bloody. All of my favorite things." She smiled. "What you reading?" She took the Black History book from me. "This is nice. Thick, but nice. It probably has a lot of the information we need."

"You make it sound like spy work."

"High school is spy work," she smirked. "Now help me findsome stuff about the Civil War in here." She nodded to the stck of books which probably weighed more than her. I smiled and nodded, pretending like I still had a little bit of slobber on my cheek and there was a pink extention still in her hair.


End file.
